Monday, 22 December 2014

Life and Death

Sometimes things on the cusp of mortality hurtle in, swift winds riling the world with a full kind of sorrow. This week has been one of those weeks. On Saturday I discovered someone I used to work with tragically passed away: he was the loveliest man. At the same time my best friend had a beautiful baby boy, eight weeks before he was due. On Sunday they thought they'd have to operate on his tiny tummy. Then today there was a terrible, freak accident in Glasgow. It easily could have been me, or anyone I know, just in the wrong place at the wrong time. A victim of circumstance. I can't imagine how those affected are coping, to me it still seems unreal. 

At times like this I have the same thoughts I always have - that I should be incredibly grateful to be living and to be safe. It's like I'm jolted out of things and my problems seem so minute, so trivial, that I become ashamed to think or speak about them. Then they lurk, at the back or me, growing slowly into darkness. This year I finally understood it. When you suffer from anxiety or depression it's all that exists. It's not trivial, because you can't see past it. It's also not a choice. 

That's why I know, perhaps today more than ever, how important it is to fight to make it better. Time, quality time, is up for grabs. 

Miss D x

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