How are you?
Three words repeated over and over again, a platitude -
learned behaviour. I’ll tell you what I do. I put my smile on and I say
FINE THANKS
and keep
moving if I can.
OR I sigh
lightly and laugh a little and say surviving. I’m surviving. Like I’m some kind
of creature whose out in the woods and getting by although it’s dirty and mucky
and sometimes cold.
Then I
always say “How bout yourself?” and they say something similar although maybe
there’s too much work or something going on with their Mother-in-Law and
they’ll fall in to telling me.
I tend to keep the things that I actually want to talk about
until I actually want to talk about them.
This
greeting isn’t meaningless, not quite. Sometimes it can have huge power. When
my close friend came round to see me, after her husband had been diagnosed with
a chronic illness I asked her how she was and she wept, saying no-one had
really asked her. I thought maybe they had but you wouldn’t want to open up
about that to just anyone.
The thing
is, actually, probably the most important thing you can do is ask your very own
self - “How are you?” and if you’re
good then great - if you aren’t then you should give yourself a hug and ask why
not and is there anything you can do to help.
Deciding to
be a friend to myself could be the best thing I have ever done.
I encourage
to do the same and remember that at the very crux of it - YOU ARE NOT YOUR EMOTIONS. YOU ARE ONLY EXPERIENCING THEM.
