Write Now

I have a complicated relationship with writing.

Right now I'm trying to write a new short story and the trouble is, the trouble has always been, that it has to be bad before it comes good. This is why, for many years in the throes of depression I wrote diaries by the ton load, but I hated my own words. Sometimes I would scribble them out just so I wouldn't have to see them. Now it's the most useful thing, because I can look back and understand how I was feeling given my mental state. I don't feel angry at how poorly expressed my thoughts are, I feel sympathy for my younger self and sad that it took so long for me to get the help I needed.

Whoever you are and wherever you are, writing helps.

As for my story? Never confuse a single failure with a final defeat.

Struggles and Sparkle

Last Christmas Eve I spent time half writing a children's story. I wasn't in the best place. Mostly I felt like crying and you can't cry in front of your cheerful family for no reason at all. Not at Christmas anyway. It felt good to escape into something else. Writing calms me, centres me, helps me to understand what's going on. It comes naturally to me. If you have trouble chilling - just being - sometimes like I do I have a few other suggestions for helping.

1. Running/Walking 

Daylight hours are so important! Running works. I'd love to say even a ten minute walk will make you feel slightly better - sometimes it does make me feel lonely but I'm always grateful for the change of scene. Although I love my music sometimes it's also important to go headphone free and give yourself a chance to hear the world.

2. Colouring/Art

Choose a picture. Sit and colour.

3. Rocking Out 

Listen to something completely stupid and dance your socks off. Endorphins matter.

With hope and a Merry (almost) Christmas

Miss D
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